A girl’s smile can be her most powerful asset. It can make a man’s day, or it can break it.
Sometimes I feel like all my friends are dumb fucks. Then I see the grades they get and the grades I get and wonder, maybe I’m the dumb fuck.
I feel as though I could be a very intelligent person, and I am already in some respects. But I can’t seem to muster the patience or will power to ever really apply myself to something. The exception to this is if that something is mundane and otherwise useless to apply myself to it.
The question I really want to know the answer to is what proportion of will power and motivation needs to be drawn from within, and how much can be drawn from sources external to myself? Or is it different for every individual?
If it is different for every person then I feel I am doomed to mediocrity for the rest of my life as no matter what methods I try, I can’t seem to draw any inspiration to do anything to change things about myself that I don’t like. Sometimes this is crippling and sometimes I am ok with it.
I just went through the symptoms of depresion on BeyondBlue and only a handful are applicable to me which I think really suggests that sometime in my development as a human I changed from being and introvert to an extrovert. I only really have these shitty feelings when I’m alone anyway which I guess is one positive.
However i feel as though it presents a catch 22 situation as when I’m alone I tend to engage in most of the things that I wish to change about myself, and when I feel so shitty in those circumstances it’s very difficult to do. Vicious cycles FTW.
So I dunno. If anyone reads this, help?
man returns his war souvenir back to the patient it can from
I feel as though I’ve learnt something valuable over this weekend.
I learnt that it’s really easy to ask a girl out on a date when you don’t really like her all that much; mainly out of loneliness. And conversely is insanely hard to work up the courage to ask a girl that you actually genuinely positively like a whole buttload.
Hooray for crippling fear of rejection.
I don’t know why, but knowing this seems like it should be some kind of valuable knowledge that I somehow hadn’t learnt yet. Like if it doesn’t take a shitload of guts to ask someone out then you’re not doing it right… Or something.
So it turns out you can’t really read more than 4 chapters of a text book the night before an exam without almost passing out. Hopefully after a decent sleep my bullshitting skills are up to scratch.
I gave her some flattery. Bitches love flattery.